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I've left the Fellowship

Chapter 2.Who knows the way it will be?

I guessed it was around midnight.
But I couldn't sleep.
I rolled over.
Haldir was asleep, but it looked like he had a nightmare.
With a shock he was wide awake.
He sighed and cursed the night.
'Nightmare'?
He made a sound which looked like a yes.
'And you can't sleep'? He asked with a thick and sleepy voice.
'Because of the rain'
'Well I think this will be a long night'
I smiled. 'So what's your idea than'?
He moaned. 'What do you think of some pleasure'

The light was shining through my closed eyelids.
Haldir smiled.
'I'm hungry, what about you'?
'Well not really no'
He chuckled and kissed me.

'Exciting night'? Gwilwileth and Elrohir laughed.
We nodded, quit ashamed.
'Where's Elladan'? I asked them before they could say more things about our night.
'Elladan is still asleep. Well I think he is. He didn't answer when I knocked on his door' Elrohir shrugged.
When we all had our breakfast we said each other goodbye and did some things for our own.

Haldir and I went to a sort of forest.
He let himself fall on the grass.
'Love, do you like your family'
Suddenly his mood was changed. 'No'
'Maidhfinden and Calminaiel are my mom and dad. But the thing is I've never known them that well'
He silenced and sighed. 'Well that's not true, cause I knew my dad very well. Because I'm the eldest of the three he always picked me to control his anger. So he used me to hit and all that'
He could barely speak. 'Sorry' he whispered than.
'Don't apologize. It was my question and you answered'
A little smile came on his face.
'And do you like your family'?
'Oh no. Not really. Well my mom and dad were nice but I mean. Always way to... concerned. And that was quit annoying'
'But don't you have a moment that you miss them"?
'No not really no'
'Oh' he seemed quit disappointed.
'But it doesn't mean that I'm not gonna visit them'
'I think that I would love it. To meet your family I mean'
'I know'
A big silence fell.
We loved it.
I was thinking about the things we shared.
And I couldn't help it but giggled at a memory of Haldir and the dwarf.
'And why are you laughing'?
'Oh just some you and the dwarf thing'
He frowned. I knew he wanted to say something but he changed his mind.
He stared at something. I wondered what he was thinking.
Slowly he closed his eyes and within a few seconds he was snoring.
'You're very boring or something'?
'My Lord, Elladan please'
'Sorry. It wasn't my intention to scare you'
A wicked grin on his face. 'Sorry, I remember something. You're not boring. you two had a really exciting night, not'?
Last night would hunt me till death.
Before I could answer Elladan was already gone.
I gave Haldir a kiss on his forehead and wrote a letter.

'Elladan'!
His wicked laugh again.
'And why are you here, my love'?
'I'm not your love and I'm here to ask something'
'And that thing is, my lady'
It was really annoying.
'Why are you so... so unbearable irritating'?
'Because I know you love it'
'You know that I hate it'
'You love it that's why you came here'
I rolled with my eyes and ran away.
One more minute with that numskull and I would've killed him.
'Meleth-Ní®n, everything alright'?
'That stupid Elladan'
'He did something to you'? Haldir was so extremely worried.
'No, yes. No. He only called me my love and all but nothing more'
'Are you sure'?
I kissed him. Our lips touched and he was a little surprised.

'Sidh'!
Before I could greet her she started to talk further.
'You have a very big problem. Elladan is so mad' Gwilwileth was hysterical
'Yes and'?
'You are the reason' she tried again.
'Yes and'?
'You really are not gonna like him when he's mad'
'Yes and'?
'He will gonna kill Haldir'!
'My Lord, no'!?
'No, not really but I didn't liked the yes and'
'Ah'
'How long do you know Haldir actually'?
Gwilwileth and I left the little inn and decided to walk in the forest.
'Well I know him quit long I think'
'Aha, that will explain it'!
'What'? I didn't understand.
'Well that you're also using the word ah'
'What. Wait am I using that word'?
'Yes. You haven't noticed'
'Well no, not really'
We walked further. Just to chat some more.
'How did you met Elrohir'?
She laughed.
'Long story might tell you tomorrow'
'Ah' I smiled. 'Just teasing you'

Finally we went back to the inn.
Haldir was still not there.
The twins called me but I went to my room.
It happened so quickly I didn't had much time to think clear.
Memories of my past were flashing by.

I watched him, but they didn't know.
In silence I saw them.
It looked like he had so much fun with her.
My heart was ripped from my body.
Fell in hundreds of little pieces.
Like porcelain.
I saw him whispering those painful words.
Everything started to fade in black before my eyes.
With a hard smack I fell from the tree.
'Sidh'? he asked friendly, but he was the one I didn't want to see.
'Everything is fine' and I stood up and ran away.

I found myself crying in my room.
'Sidh'? I hadn't noticed him.
Haldir looked worried.
'Why are you crying'?
'Thinking of something. And I didn't know how it came in my mind, but it hurts'
He was still looking at me. His piercing blue eyes deep in mine.
I sighed. 'I was thinking of a sort of former love. Not that we had something. But I was in love with him. That's what my mind told me. But in my heart I wasn't sure. But when he was talking with her I was jealous. I know that jealousy is bad, but I couldn't help it, I swear. It was so complicated'
'Who was it then'?
'I can't tell you his name'
'May I guess'?
'Yes, but I think you can't guess it'
'Well then it's not Legolas and I can't imagine that it was one of the twins'
'Are you giving up'?
'Ah, you don't like it, yes I'm giving up'

We escaped to the forest again.
Just to see the stars.
Without other people.
Just Haldir and me.
We didn't talked.
And it was the best for now.
He only held me in his arms and my thoughts could be everything they wanted to be.
Most of the time they were thinking of the Fellowship. But something in me said they were fine. Maybe Legolas wasn't bad at all. Maybe he was there to help them.
One thought less.
I tried to think of some other things.
But it only caused me headache.
I closed my eyes and buried my face in his clothes.
It was the only thing I wanted now.
Well I also wanted to escape from the world.
But how could I?
Kill myself? And how then?
But did Elves killed themselves?
No, they didn't they. Elves are way to proud to do that.
But sometimes I longed for it.
'Please don't think of the things of the past. Maybe it's good to go back to the Fellowship. A little more adventure is probably better for you'
'Well maybe it is. Anyway with the Fellowship it was way more thrilling'
'But'
'But what'?
'Maybe they've already left that place... forgot the name of it'
'Oh I know. But we can't search for them'
'And you said that the Fellowship was in two'
'Now I don't get it. You're saying that it might will be better for me but it also looks like that you don't want it'
'No I'm just realistic'
'Well never mind but what do you think'?
'Alright, let's go search for them'
He was trying to get on his feet.
'Not now'
'Oh try to stop me'
'Alright'
And in one second he was on the floor again.
And I'm on top of him!
'You stopped me'
'And on top of you'
'Who says that'?
And we rolled on the grass and now Haldir was on top.
'This feels better'
'I know'
And so the game began.

'Alright, alright, stop, stop'!
'What you say'?
'Please stop my love'
He was still laughing.
'But you love this'
He tried to be really serious.
But I stopped. He asked it, really sweet.
'Time for revenge'

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